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Смешинка
2021-01-20Хочется, чтобы красивый мужчина в полном расцвете сил забрал меня сейчас с работы, отвёз к себе, бросил на огромную кровать и... сказал: "Спи"!
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Газета - это уникальная вещь: и скатерть, и мухобойка, и вентилятор, и туалетная бумага, и шапка, и зонтик, и даже почитать можно.
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У меня своё небольшое хозяйство - корова, 2 свиньи, овцы, куры и еще там по мелочи. Подскажите, как наладить отношения с соседями снизу?
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Почтальон разнёс почту. Здание ремонту и восстановлению не подлежит.
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На слова жены "Всё, я от тебя ухожу!" молодой муж начинает просить прощения, опытный молча переждёт истерику, а бывалый грустно скажет: "Ты только обещаешь...".
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- Вчера выслушала из уст мужа всю правду о себе.
- Ты, наверное, его убила... allanecdots.ru
- Нет, и так, блин, стало его жалко. Как он меня такую терпит?
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У нас с женой большая разница в возрасте.
Поэтому, когда я говорю, что присутствовал у нее на родах, многие не понимают, рожала она или её. allanecdots.ru
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- У тебя каждый год новая искусственная елка, как так?
- По закону, в течение 14 дней товар можно вернуть в магазин. Главное, чтобы чек был. allanecdots.ru
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Мама-кенгуру лупит детеныша:
- Будешь знать, как есть печенье в кровати! allanecdots.ru
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Сидит мужик, смотрит телек, потягивает пивко. По ящику реклама:
- У панды 16, у акулы 100, у человека 32 зуба норма. allanecdots.ru
Мужик вскочил с кресла:
- Ух ты, я панда!!!
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Kогда же пройдет этот вирус, чтобы в магазине можно было спокойно лизнуть палец и открыть этот долбаный пакетик!?
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