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Дмитрий
2021-01-21Повзрослел - это когда ты съел за маму, за папу, за брата, за кису, а тебе говорят не - «Вот молодец!», а - «Ты что, опять, гад, всю семью без ужина оставил?!»
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У любого, кто просмотрит два часа подряд новости на российском ТВ, на ногах автоматически вырастают лапти!
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Звонок на сайт досуга.
- Девушка, сколько стоит провести с вами часик? allanecdots.ru
- 4000 рублей.
- А привитым от Ковида?
- При наличии справки 3000 рублей.
Чувствую, после прививки начал реально экономить.
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- Рабинович, приведите пример нездорового цинизма.
- Поздравление с Новым годом на обороте квитанции за подорожавшее ЖКХ... allanecdots.ru
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В гостинице у одинокого мужчины вечная дилемма: заказать проститутку или съесть орешков из мини-бара. Стоит и то и то одинаково.
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- Что ты опять натворила?
- Чё, прям ВСЁ перечислять??? allanecdots.ru
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В детстве бабушка меня кормила, кормила, кормила, приговаривая, что я самый умный и красивый. Теперь никак не могу найти девушку, любящую толстяков и так же глубоко, как бабушка, разбирающуюся в людях.
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Сбылась мечта моего детства - я выросла и мне больше не надо вставать в школу к 8:15… Теперь я встаю на работу в 5:20!
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- Интересно, а официанты доедают блюда, которые остались? Ну, там нарезки всякие, овощи, фрукты, колбасы?
- Нет, официанты едят, пока вам эту нарезку несут. Это вы уже за ними доедаете! allanecdots.ru
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Только у слабой женщины мужик во всём виноват! У сильной - он ещё и наказан!!!
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Если тебе изменила жена, не пытайся прыгать с крыши. Помни! У тебя рога, а не крылья...
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