Просто смешные анекдоты

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АвторРазные 2021-02-27

Дочь спросила меня, почему она не может просто бросить школу, и я ответила, что это противозаконно и в этом случае меня посадят в тюрьму, а моя такая милая дочурка посмотрела мне пристально в глаза и сказала: «Я буду тебя навещать».

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

Шеф подчиненному:
- Сколько вам нужно времени, чтобы все было готово через полчаса? allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

Звонoк в техподдержку:
- Изобретите, пожалуйста, холодильник, который пищит, когда мне хватит жрать, а не когда он просто открыт больше минуты. allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

Леночка упорно не хотела быть Жабой. Но её жених всё-таки настоял на том, чтобы она взяла его фамилию…

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

Молодые выбирают имя своему первенцу: Добрыня, Ярополк, Святогор, Мстислав, Ратибор…
Дед слушал-слушал и говорит: allanecdots.ru
- Я не понял, Русь что ли в опасности?

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

- Ничтожество, ты создан с единственной целью - прислуживать мне, своему господину! Повинуйся мне, или я уничтожу тебя и весь твой род!
- Киса, киса, что ты там мяукаешь? Хочешь кушать? Иди ко мне, кис-кис... allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-02-26

Здравствуйте, я Иван, 42 года, и я продуктовый алкоголик. Я проедаю всю зарплату.

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Разные 2021-02-26

Как мне говорила одна знакомая: "Не поленитесь, съездите на Мальдивы".
Да бля, от Мальдив меня отделяет только лень... allanecdots.ru

Да бля, от Мальдив меня отделяет только лень..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/97222/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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Разные 2021-02-26

Командир эскадрильи на разборе полетов:
- Ну что, товарищи летчики, о чем будем говорить, о полетах или о бляд@х? allanecdots.ru
- Командир, давайте лучше о бляд@х!
- Хорошо! Что ж вы, бл@ди так ху@во летаете?!...

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ВесёлыйРазные 2021-02-26

- Вот говорят, что хуже дурака - только дурак с инициативой... Но я вам так скажу: ещё страшнее дурак с возможностью её реализации!

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PabloРазные 2021-02-25

История любви (краткая версия).
Ты анонимно шлешь девушке цветы. Она радуется. Ты признаешься, что это был ты. Она расстраивается. allanecdots.ru

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