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Просто смешные анекдоты
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Добрый
2021-03-16Судья:
- Гражданин Сидоров, во время следствия вы признали свою вину, а затем от этого признания отказались. Почему вы это сделали? allanecdots.ru
- Гражданин судья, мой адвокат убедил меня в том, что я не виновен.
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- У вас есть недостатки?
- Ага! allanecdots.ru
- Перечислите?
- Лень!
- И все?
- Лень перечислять!
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В ресторане мужчина подходит к одиноко сидящей за столиком девушке:
- Мадемуазель, вы танцуете? allanecdots.ru
- Не видите, что ли? Жру я!
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Семейная пара у психолога:
- Считаете ли вы, что жена не дает вам слова сказать? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, он так не считает.
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Если слишком долго стоять и смотреть на огонь, то тебя уволят из МЧС.
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- Девушка, подарите мне, пожалуйста, свою фотографию!!!
- А вам зачем нужна моя фотография? - кокетливо ему отвечает девушка. allanecdots.ru
- А я ее на сервант поставлю, чтобы дети боялись за конфетами лазить.
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Москвич попал в Дели и взял напрокат машину. Через час езды, возмущенный, он остановился возле полицая:
- Во многих странах автомобили двигаются по правой стороне дороги, в некоторых - по левой. А где положено ездить у вас? allanecdots.ru
- Там, где тень, - лениво ответил полицейский.
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- Ну твой и козел! Такого еще поискать!
- Я очень старалась и я нашла! allanecdots.ru
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В Китае спутниковую антенну прикручивают к растущему бамбуку. Так с каждым днем становится на четыре канала больше.
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Нынче инопланетяне не похищают людей так часто, как раньше. Похоже, мы не единственная планета, где сокращают финансирование космических исследований.
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