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Шутник
2021-03-23СМСка бывшему мужу:
- Привет дорогой! Как поживаешь? Локти сладкие? allanecdots.ru
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Идёт представление в цирке. Конферансье объявляет самый хитовый номер программы:
- Друзья, а сейчас, наш дрессированный слон Федя обосцыт прямо весь 17 ряд!... Сидите-сидите, не надо вставать! Слон сам умеет считать. allanecdots.ru
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В любой ситуации говори: "Всё идёт по плану!" - мало ли какой у тебя забористый план.
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В связи с отсутствием финансирования Сколковские учёные прекращают поиски смысла жизни на территории Российской Федерации.
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Возле деревни Станкевичи Омской области установили вышку сотовой связи. Радостную новость сообщил студент Иван Артемьев, который живет в этой деревне и который вынужден был залезать на березу, чтобы поймать 3G.
Слава богу. На вышку-то всяко удобнее будет залезать, чем на берёзу. allanecdots.ru
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Уважаемые отечественные кинематографисты! Голливуд у вас ничего не спрашивает, хватит уже ему отвечать.
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- А ты готовить-то умеешь? Борщ там, пельмени?
- А ты зарабатывать-то умеешь? Доллары там, евро, рубли? allanecdots.ru
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Хренотень - это тень отбрасываемая листьями хрена на другие объекты.
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Вы с ума сошли? Пельмени надо есть только ложкой. Протыкая его вилкой, вы нарушаете микрофлору пельменя и уже не сможете насладиться всем спектром вкуса, вы теряете драгоценный сок пельменя, его внутреннюю силу.
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На всероссийском съезде пессимистов было принято решение больше съездов не проводить.
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Раньше мужик, добиваясь женщину, убивал животное и приносил ей добычу. Как труп мамонта эволюционировал до лайка - для меня остается тайной…
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