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Vaserman_Druz_
2021-04-08Президент подписал указ о гаражной амнистии: сотни тысяч мужчин по всей стране наконец смогут вернуться из гаражей к своим женам, детям и родителям.
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- Когда я была маленькой, ходила в баню со старшей сестрой, у которой была большая грудь. Я тыкала в неё пальцем, смеялась и говорила: "Ха-ха-ха, у меня никогда такого не будет!"... Короче, как в воду глядела!
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- Я тебя это... сильно, ну... знаешь... слово на букву Л...
- Лобзик? allanecdots.ru
- Да. Лобзик.
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- Когда женщина говорит, что ты - лучший, невольно задумываешься: «Где и когда прошло соревнование?».
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Комары гораздо гуманнее женщин: уж если комар и пьет твою кровь, то он, по крайней мере, перестает жужжать
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На заметку женщинам:
Мужчину голыми руками не возьмёшь. Тут много чего голого нужно! allanecdots.ru
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Выходной. Супруги утром лежат в постели:
- Милый, хочешь чашечку кофе? allanecdots.ru
- С большим удовольствием!
- Ну тогда свари и мне пожалуйста!
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Невероятно, но факт.
Если в одну ногу выстрелить пулей калибра 5, 45, а в другую 7, 62 - человек не заметит разницы. allanecdots.ru
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- Минздрав России зарегистрировал вакцину от коронавируса "Спутник Лайт". На подходе "Спутник Ментол" и "Спутник Slim".
- А будет "Спутник Нефильтрованное"? allanecdots.ru
| - А будет "Спутник Нефильтрованное"?" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/98277/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Судья нa зaсeдaнии в судe:
- Итaк, пoдсудимый, рaсскaжитe нaм, пoчeму вы выстрeлили в свoeгo тoвaрищa пo oхoтe? allanecdots.ru
Пoдсудимый:
- Я случaйнo принял eгo зa мeдвeдя.
- A кoгдa вы пoняли, чтo oшиблись?
- Koгдa мeдвeдь выстрeлил в oтвeт!
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Требование феминисток к 1 апреля: переименовать День дурака в День дуры.
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