Просто смешные анекдоты

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AlikРазные 2021-04-29

- Какое Ваше любимое печатное издание?
- Деньги. allanecdots.ru

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ВесёлыйРазные 2021-04-29

Ha дoпрoce:
- Рaccкaжитe, гдe вы купили тaкoй кaчecтвeнный диплoм o выcшeм oбрaзoвaнии? allanecdots.ru
- Haшёл нa дoрoгe!
- Bы утвeрждaeтe, чтo нaшли нa дoрoгe диплoм нa cвoё имя???
- Coвeршeннo вeрнo!
- И кaк вы oбьяcнитe тaкoe coвпaдeниe?
- Этo нe coвпaдeниe. Прocтo пacпoрт нa этo имя я купил пoзжe…

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2021-04-29

Парадокс нашей жизни в том, что вороватые людишки балансируют между правительством и тюрьмой.
А мы - просто оплачиваем это шоу. allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

- Мммм, а ты очень красивая! Давай встретимся сегодня? Сходим куда-нибудь...
- Не могу! allanecdots.ru
- Почему?
- Потому, что я только на аватарке очень красивая!

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

В яичном белке меньше белков, чем в желтке. Стоит ли говорить, что в угле и воде вообще нет углеводов!

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

Если кому-то очень хочется развестись, передаю совет моей бабушки:
«Терпите и любите друг друга. Две пенсии лучше, чем одна!» allanecdots.ru

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

- Я хотел бы взять в вашем банке кредит на бабу.
- Как это? allanecdots.ru
- Ну, типа, цветы ей покупать, в кино водить...
- Это потребительский.
- Не говорите про неё так!

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

Одна дама жалуется другой:
- Понимаете, моя милочка, эти негодяи дали моему сыну два года! allanecdots.ru
- А он что, не виновен?
- Он самый хороший и послушный сын. Всё, что воровал, приносил домой!

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ГеоргийРазные 2021-04-28

Начальник объявляет своим подчинённым:
- График отпусков все заполнили неправильно. График должен быть пустым! allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2021-04-28

- Послушайте, у этого парня в резюме: «Управление успешным обновлением и внедрением новой системы освещения с непревышенными затратами и без происшествий, связанных с безопасностью».
- Ему удалось заменить лампочку? allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz_Разные 2021-04-28

- Кисуля, пожарь мне картошечку!
- Я не кошка, я человек! allanecdots.ru
- Человек! Картошку фри!

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