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2021-06-10Калории - это такие мелкие пакостники, которые приходят ночью и ушивают твою одежду.
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С 2011 года США свёртывают программу Space Shuttle, в космос будут летать только с русскими.
Проект будет называться "NASA Russia". allanecdots.ru
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- Почему мужчины ходят дома в одних трусах?
- Потому что в двух трусах жарко. allanecdots.ru
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Совсем нынешние скорняки разучились материал обрабатывать.
Купил у одного такого раздолбая пару шапок из кролика, просыпаюсь на следующее утро - а их уже две дюжины! allanecdots.ru
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Для хорошего вина - нужна здоровая печень, для качественного секса - хороший мужчина, для новой шмоточки - хорошая фигура. Ни единого шанса, ни единого…
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Vaserman_Druz_Опрос, проведенный центром "Сомнение", показал: только 5% новых русских, уходя из квартиры, прощаются с женой, в то время как почти 95% новых русских, уходя от жены, прощаются с квартирой.
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Если вас достал ваш кредитор, которому вы должны 5000 рублей, отошлите ему долг по мобильному банку и припишите: «Наркотики очень понравились».
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Сочинцы попросили россиян не приезжать в этот курортный город на личном транспорте. И вообще: по мнению местных жителей, было бы лучше, если бы россияне совсем не приезжали в Сочи, а просто присылали деньги.
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Новейшие исследования доказывают, что коты не могут переносить Covid-19. Но хотели бы.
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Подлетает один вампир к бару, вся морда в крови. Другой вампир с голодными глазами, спрашивает:
- Второй день не капли крови в рот не брал. Может скажешь где добыл? allanecdots.ru
- В-о-о-он то здоровое дерево видишь?
- Ага.
- Ну вот, а я не увидел.
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- Почему ты рассталась с Петей?
- Он не давал мне того, чего я ожидала. allanecdots.ru
- А чего ты ожидала?
- Я не знаю. Он мне этого не давал...
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