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2021-08-11- Слушай, моя девушка - ну точно Брежнев!
- Что, такая же страшная? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, целуется со всеми подряд!!!
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- Пoвыcьтe зaрплaту!
- Cдeлaнo! allanecdots.ru
- Дa, блин, нe ceбe!
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Когда-то я спросил знакомого сапёра, как насчёт стресса, связанного с его работой. Он мне ответил, что никакого стресса нет. Или удастся разминировать, или нет. А если не удастся, то это уже не его проблемы. С тех пор я стараюсь смотреть на жизнь с его точки зрения.
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Анализ ДНК подтвердил давнюю догадку, что Чебурашка является результатом Генной инженерии.
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- Дорогой, садись за стол, ужин готов, твои любимые грибочки!
- Милая, ну ты же знаешь, как я отношусь к грибам. Я их только собирать люблю. allanecdots.ru
- Ну хочешь, я их сейчас по полу разбросаю, будешь их собирать!
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Начальник собирает всех подчиненных в своем кабинете, долго сидит, смотрит на них так и этак, потом говорит:
- Я собрал вас здесь, потому что вы - пазл! allanecdots.ru
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Представьте себе, сколько было бы книг, если идея о Гарри Поттере пришла бы в голову Дарье Донцовой!
Первые десять книг он бы только искал поезд, следующий в Хогвардс. allanecdots.ru
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Идёт негр с попугаем на плече. Мужик у пивного ларька смотрит напряженно на них и спрашивает:
- Ты где его взял? allanecdots.ru
Попугай отвечает:
- В Африке! Их там миллионы!!
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Шеф на собрании:
- Уважаемые коллеги! Кто из вас в этом году быстрее всех выполнит план, тот получит от меня шоколадку. allanecdots.ru
- Шеф, нам бы зарплату...
- Так, начинается! Я уже купил шоколадки!!
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ГеоргийБыли у семейного психолога. Все было хорошо, пока она не подняла руку чтобы поправить волосы, а мой муж не шуганулся.
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