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2011-04-15- Девки, выхожу я утром из дома, а на заборе кто-то мое имя написал.
- Ничего себе у тебя имя... allanecdots.ru
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Имею возможность иметь козу, но не имею желания. Имею желание иметь машину, но коза говорит: "Сначала шуба!".
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Съел серый волк бабушку, переоделся в её одежду, лёг в её кровать и стал ждать Красную Шапочку. Но откуда он мог знать, что у бабушки такой темпераментный дедушка.
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Что же пожелать тебе на день рождения, внучка?
- Пожелай, бабушка, чтобы я встретила мужчину, без которого не смогла бы жить. allanecdots.ru
- Желаю тебе встретить мужчину, с которым ты смогла бы жить...
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Новый начальник отдела собрал коллектив:
- Я знаю, что раньше из вас половина людей работала, а половина бездельничала. Так вот, теперь у нас все будет наоборот! allanecdots.ru
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- Мужики, сейчас Андрюха придет: с кем из нас он первым поздоровается – тот ЛОХ!
- Пацаны, всем привет! allanecdots.ru
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- Мама, купи собачку!
- Нет! allanecdots.ru
- Ну, пожалуйста, купи!
- Я же сказала, нет! Продай кому-нибудь другому.
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Лорд – дворецкому:
- Джеймс! Мне нужна горячая ванна! allanecdots.ru
- Уже вылезаю, сэр!
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Встречаются две подруги, одна у другой спрашивает:
- Маш, ты что, беременная опять? allanecdots.ru
- Да.
- От кого???
- Да бывший муж приходил извиняться, что бросил меня одну с двумя детьми.
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Папа я потерял свои таблетки! Голубенькие, ты их не видел?
- У нас есть проблема и похуже, сынок… allanecdots.ru
- Какая?
- НА КУХНЕ ДРАКОН!!!
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У дороги сидит нищий. Из леса выходит Робин-Гуд и бросает к ногам нищего мешок золота со словами:
- Я Робин-Гуд, отбираю у богатых и отдаю бедным! allanecdots.ru
Нищий ликует:
- Наконец-то и мне улыбнулось счастье! Я теперь сказочно богат!!
Робин-Гуд протыкает нищего мечом, забирает золото и говорит:
- Я Робин-Гуд, отбираю у богатых и отдаю бедным!
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