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Просто смешные анекдоты
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2011-04-18В зоопарке большая группа собралась у клетки, в которой рядышком лежали волк и ягненок. Экскурсовод:
- Вот видите, мирное сосуществование - не миф, а реальность, нужно только не жалеть для этого усилий... allanecdots.ru
Служитель зоопарка про себя:
- Мы и не жалеем. Каждый день нового ягненка подкладываем.
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- Важнейший элемент в диете для похудения - это сон!
- Это как? allanecdots.ru
- Вовремя не уснула - обожралась пирожными!
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- Милиция. Милиция! Милиция!!! Помогите! Милиция...
- Сержант Петров! Кто звал? Кому нужна помощь? allanecdots.ru
- Ой, извините. Просто, райончик ваш проверяем – не подходит он нам...
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Судья:
- Ваша жена утверждает, что вы ее держите в постоянном страхе. allanecdots.ru
Обвиняемый:
- Но, ваша честь...
Судья (шепотом):
- Скажите, неофициально, как мужчина мужчине, как это вам удается?
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- Мужчина, вы не проводите меня домой?
- Только взлядом, мадам. allanecdots.ru
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- Не понимаю, почему ты недовольна своим мужем? Ведь он отдает тебе все заработанные деньги до последней копейки.
- Что правда, то правда, однако потом он все эти деньги выигрывает у меня в карты! allanecdots.ru
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- Послушайте, вы уже полчаса держите трубку и молчите. Разреши
мне позвонить. allanecdots.ru
- Не мешайте, пожалуйста, я разговариваю с женой.
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Босс спрашивает подчиненного:
- Как думаешь, куда лучше этим летом податься: на гавайи, ямайку, или карибы? allanecdots.ru
Подчиненный:
- А про огород слыхали?
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Через несколько месяцев после знакомства:
- Дорогой, не пора ли тебе познакомить меня со своими родными? allanecdots.ru
- Даже не знаю, как быть. Дети сейчас у тёщи, жена в отпуске...
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