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Просто смешные анекдоты
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2011-06-05Чтобы отличить настоящие швейцарские часы от поддельных, бросьте их со всей силы на бетонный пол салона-магазина. Если часы настоящие, продавец должен тут же умереть от разрыва сердца.
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Мальчик внимательно смотрит, как поят водой корову. Потом
говорит осуждающе: allanecdots.ru
- Вот так молоко водой разбавляют ...
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Судья:
- Подсудимый, кто вы по профессии? allanecdots.ru
Подсудимый:
- Акробат.
Судья:
- Сержант, закройте окно.
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– Дорогой, что тебе больше нравится – мое очаровательное лицо или моя прекрасная фигура?
– Твое чувство юмора. allanecdots.ru
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Целлюлит это когда человек долго пытается думать жопой - на ней появляются извилины!
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- Дорогая, давай пошалим?
- Нет, чего-то голова болит. allanecdots.ru
- Хорошо, отдыхай, любимая. Пойду тогда кредит возьму.
- Нет, милый, давай лучше займемся сексом.
(Голос за кадром: "Наши кредиты избавят от головной боли. Житейские
истории, банк Империал.)
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Звонок на радио:
- Алло,здравствуйте,я хотела бы поздравить своего папу с днём рождения и пожелать ему счастья от всего сердца до члена! allanecdots.ru
- До куда?!?!
- Дочь Лена,а не докуда!
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- Я вчера на вечеринке познакомился с девушкой и мы как-то сразу перешли на "ты".
- Что, прямо сразу? allanecdots.ru
- Да. Она сразу мне сказала: "Да пошел ты!.."
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