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2011-08-24- У вас есть попугай, который владеет английским?
- Нет, зато у нас есть дятел. allanecdots.ru
- А чем он владеет?
- Азбукой Морзе.
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Врач говорит пациентке:
- Вам следует спать на правом боку. allanecdots.ru
- Но это невозможно, доктор, мой муж часто говорит во сне, а я не слышу на левое ухо.
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Юноша покупает обручальное кольцо:
- Пожалуйста, сделайте гравировку "Тане от Гены". allanecdots.ru
Пожилой ювелир:
- Я бы посоветовал вам написать короче: "От Гены". Мало ли...
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Милая теща, поздравляю Вас с Хэллуином, вашим профессиональным праздником!
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- Дорогая, я сегодня опоздаю, иду с друзьями на скачки.
- Не беспокойся, звонила твоя кобыла, сказала, что скачки отменяются... allanecdots.ru
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Женa крaсуется перед зеркaлом и говорит мужу:
- Я сегодня былa у докторa, и он скaзaл, что у меня грудь, кaк у 20-летней девушки... allanecdots.ru
- А про 50-летнюю зaдницу он ничего не говорил?
- Нет... Про тебя он не спрaшивaл.
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В пaрке, пaрень с девушкой:
- Сaшa, сними очки, ты порвешь мне колготки! allanecdots.ru
Через несколько минут:
- Сaшa, одень очки, ты целуешь скaмейку!!!
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Заместитель говорит своему шефу:
- Шеф, я придумал, как наша компания может сэкономить немалую сумму. allanecdots.ru
Шеф:
- Федя, ты что, увольняешься?!
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- В дельфинарии скончался любимец детей Тимошка. В настоящее время дельфинарий подыскивает нового сторожа.
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В магазин заходит слепой с собакой-поводырем. Подходит к кассе, берёт собаку и начинает крутить над головой. Подходит охранник:
- Мужчина, вам чем нибудь помочь? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, я просто осматриваюсь.
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- Скажите, этот попугай говорящий?
- Знаете, то же самое он только что спрашивал про вас. allanecdots.ru
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