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2013-02-12Чтобы вынести мусор, можно вынести пакет с мусором на лестничную клетку, позвонить в полицию и сообщить о подозрительном пакете.
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Теща сердито зятю:
- Хватит читать газету, пошел бы лучше грядки полил! allanecdots.ru
- Так ведь дождь идет, мама...
- Ну и что, надень плащ!..
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— Я никуда не пойду! Мне нечего надеть!
— Бл.., Петрович, мне пох..й! Кирзачи пропил, теперь хоть в тапках траншею копай! allanecdots.ru
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Жена причитает мужу:
- Я была глухая и слепая, когда выходила за тебя замуж! allanecdots.ru
- Вот видишь, от каких болезней я тебя исцелил!
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Два дня не было горячей воды. Тут из ванной доносится радостный крик жены: - Ура! Воду горячую дали! Только она коричневая и холодная…
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"Взрослые не матерятся при детях, дети не матерятся при взрослых." Забавная игра общества в приличных людей.
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- Да за такую зарплату я должна приходить в офис, пить чай и уходить!
- Так ты этим и занимаешься allanecdots.ru
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Надежда Бабкина, Алла Пугачева, Алёна Свиридова... В отличие от Анджелины Джоли российские звёзды не усыновляют детей, а выходят за них замуж.
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Как приколоться над кем-нибудь в парке.
1. Подсесть на скамейку к незнакомцу. allanecdots.ru
2. Положить перед ним конверт с чьей-нибудь фотографией.
3. Прошептать незнакомцу: "Все должно выглядеть как несчастный случай".
4. Встать и уйти.
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- Почему революционеры так боялись задержания Ленина?
- А, по-вашему мнению, что мог рассказать человек, который никогда не врет?! allanecdots.ru
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Голубоглазые блондинки ростом не ниже 175! Вас с нетерпением ждет увлекательная работа машинистки мостового крана!
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