Случайный прикол:
Просто смешные анекдоты
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Gergt
2014-01-08- Какая странная у вас шпага, сударь.
- Это арматура, сэр. allanecdots.ru
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- Деда, а почему говорят, что моряки ходят в море?!
- Ну, всё верно внучек - это мы, пехота, в туалет ходим, а они - в море! allanecdots.ru
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Звонок на радио:
- Алло, это радио? allanecdots.ru
- Да!
- У меня вопрос: я работаю инкассатором, везу 60 млн. руб.! А правда что завтра точно-точно будет Конец света?
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Один приятель спрашивает другого:
– А ты где отдыхал? allanecdots.ru
– Нигде, я летать боюсь.
– Так ты выпей.
– Да когда я выпью, мне и тут хорошо…
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Воскресное утро.
- Милая, хочешь выпить кофе в постели? allanecdots.ru
- С удовольствием!
- Тогда принеси чашечку и мне.
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Ночь, кухня, открытый холодильник, вылезает здоровая, нагруженная жратвой мышь. Вперевалку топает к норке и отодвигает лапой маленькую мышеловку с засохшим кусочком сыра.
- Чесс слово, ну как дети... allanecdots.ru
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80-летнего старика приговорили к двадцати годам тюрьмы. В своем последнем слове он обратился к суду: - Граждане судьи, спасибо за оказанное доверие!
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Одного мужика арестовали за незаконную вырубку леса. И приговорили к пяти годам законной вырубки леса.
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Маленький Леша нашел заначку родителей и на все деньги купил барбарисок.
- Теперь сосет вся семья! allanecdots.ru
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Метро, час пик. В толпе орет мужик:
- Помогите! Мой сын нечаянно подавился пятаком! Он умирает! allanecdots.ru
Сквозь толпу протискивается толстая тетка, хватает пацана за яйца и страшно их сжимает! У бедного парня из глотки вылетает пять рублей и вопль "А-а-а-а-а!!!!!"
Отец с уважением: - Ух ты! Вы, наверное, в скорой помощи работаете?..
- Нет. В налоговой.
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Отец с уважением: - Ух ты! Вы, наверное, в скорой помощи работаете?.. - Нет. В налоговой." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/23210/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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Мама была в отъезде две недели. По возвращении она спрашивает у своего сына:
- Папа грустил, когда меня не было дома? allanecdots.ru
- В начале нет, но последние два дня он становился все печальнее и печальнее.
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