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Timon05
2014-05-23- А чего это ты презервативы по карманам распихиваешь?
- На дискотеку собрался. allanecdots.ru
- Примету знаешь?
- Какую?
- Зонт возьмешь - дождя не будет!
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Большинство девушек ищет такого парня, который бы их смешил, но в то же время смог защитить. Другими словами, им нужен клоун-ниндзя.
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- Дорогой, я тебе Богом дана?
- Конечно, не пойму только за какой грех… allanecdots.ru
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Проснувшись утром с перепоя, обнаружил в кармане 2000 рублей. Радовался найденному до тех пор, пока не нашел в другом кармане чек из банкомата о снятии 5000 рублей.
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Адвокат выступает на судебном заседании: - Чтобы доказать, что мой подзащитный провел вечер дома, я хочу показать суду его историю посещения сайтов в тот злополучный вечер...
Подсудимый восклицает: - Стойте! Я решил сознаться в убийстве!... allanecdots.ru
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Инспектор ГАИ не смог досмотреть Формулу-1. От такого превышения скорости его от жадности схватил инфаркт.
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- Скажи мне, ты вообще дружишь с мозгами?
- В смысле? Это часть меня, с ней не надо дружить, это, блин, так же, как "ты дружишь с пальцем?" или "а ты дружишь с волосами на ноге?", утром просыпаешься и говоришь: "Привет, мозги, как вам спалось? Что кушать будем?" allanecdots.ru
- Все-все, успокойся. Не дружишь, и не надо...
| - Все-все, успокойся. Не дружишь, и не надо..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/29155/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Умные люди говорят, что плоскостопием надо заниматься с детства, а мудрые советуют до 27 лет ничего не предпринимать.
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Ничто в доме не хранится так трепетно, как ненужный хлам под названием "а вдруг пригодится".
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- Как у вас насчет аппетита?
- Когда как. То он есть, то его нет. allanecdots.ru
- А когда у вас нет аппетита?
- Обычно после хорошего обеда.
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В одесском трамвае:
- Милочка, могли бы уступить мне место... allanecdots.ru
- С какой это стати?! Вы же моложе меня!
- Женщина, я вас умоляю! Я просто таки лучше выгляжу!..
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