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Просто смешные анекдоты
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Gergt
2014-06-03- Ты могла бы и извиниться!
- Вообще-то это ты должен передо мной извиниться! allanecdots.ru
- Ладно, извини, что ты меня укусила!
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Хорошего бухгалтера найти трудно, поэтому Вера Павловна уже двадцать лет числится в федеральном розыске.
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Дело происходит в военном городке. К генералу приходит жена капитана.
"Товарищ генерал, я нашла в кармане у мужа лифчик. Как быть?" allanecdots.ru
Генерал: "Давайте мне, я сам разберусь". Вечером генерал возвращается домой, забытый в кармане лифчик находит жена: "Дорогой, ты такой шутник, а я все думаю, где я его оставила?.."
| Генерал: "Давайте мне, я сам разберусь". Вечером генерал возвращается домой, забытый в кармане лифчик находит жена: "Дорогой, ты такой шутник, а я все думаю, где я его оставила?.."" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/29595/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Встретились два друга:
- Старею. allanecdots.ru
- Откуда такой пессимизм?
- От женских вопросов.
- Каких именно?
- Раньше меня спрашивали: "Почему не женишься?" А теперь: "Почему не женился?"
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Случается, кто-нибудь звонит и спрашивает:
- Это кто? allanecdots.ru
Я придумал гениальный ответ, который просто загоняет звонящего в ступор:
- Где?
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500 метров за хлебом - далеко, не пойду.
2 километра за пивом - рукой подать, ща сгоняю! allanecdots.ru
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- Слово из пяти букв, содержит буквы п, з, д, а?
- Запад! allanecdots.ru
- Точно... Дай ластик.
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Судья:
- Тишина! Ну-ка, все заткнулись!!! А кто еще раз скажет: "Долой судью! " - покинет зал суда!!! allanecdots.ru
- Долой судью!
- Обвиняемый, к вам это не относится...
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- Долой судью! - Обвиняемый, к вам это не относится..." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/29566/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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Андрюша, сынок, а ну иди сюда!
- Да, папа... allanecdots.ru
- Ты камасутру брал?
- Брал...
- А ты, что-нибудь там дорисовывал??
- Ну да...
- Вот теперь иди и сам маму распутывай!!
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Выходные удались потеряно все... ум честь совесть... и лифчик, лифчик особенно жалко...
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Теорию относительности начинаешь понимать, когда полчаса стоишь перед табличкой на магазине: "Перерыв 10 минут".
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