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2014-11-25- Ты любишь фильм Сумерки?
- Нет. allanecdots.ru
- Значит любишь сигареты и кофе?
- Я не курю и кофе не пью.
- А Дом 2 смотришь?
- Ни разу не смотрела.
- А угги у тебя есть?
- Нет.
- Господи! выходи за меня замуж!
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Приходит мужик в паспортный стол: - Здравствуйте, меня зовут Вадим Говно, я хотел бы сменить имя на Эдуард.
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- Че делаешь?
- Я люблю, я скучаю, мне так тебя не хватает. Ты снишься мне каждую ночь, я не могу без тебя, а ты? allanecdots.ru
- Сосиску ем.
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- Сара, я выйду замуж только по любви!
- Я, Софочка, тоже... Если не подвернется что-нибудь получше... allanecdots.ru
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Статистика - наука строгая! Так вот, за прошедшие 10 лет из России за границу на заработки выехало 5670 физиков, 1349 химиков, 986 биологов и ни одного гаишника.
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Я не мог просто стоять и смотреть, как она уходит от меня... Поэтому начал немного пританцовывать.
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- Дорогая, дай мне шанс доказать, что я - настоящий мужчина.
- Хорошо, у тебя два часа и не секунды меньше. allanecdots.ru
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Зимние виды спорта имеют одно неоспоримое преимущество перед летними: не победишь, так хоть согреешься.
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Жена - мужу: - Я уезжала, меня не было дома 6 недель! Наконец я вернулась - и что? Тебе это безразлично, у тебя нет для меня ни одного ласкового слова. И это после моего шестинедельного отсутствия!
- Почему нет? Есть... allanecdots.ru
- Какое?
- Спасибо!!!
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У дембелей первые пару дней на гражданке не работает часть мозга, отвечающая за деление девушек на красивых - некрасивых.
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Сегодня услышал, как моя соседка долго уговаривала своего кота слезть с дерева. Последняя ее фраза: - Ну тогда, не ори! Вей гнездо и ложись спать!
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