Просто смешные анекдоты

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GergtРазные 2014-12-04

- Скажите, Холмс, как отличить резиновую женщину от нестоящей?
- Элементарно, Ватсон! Если настоящей надавить на одну грудь, вторая не увеличивается. allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2014-12-04

- Дай смс-ку написать!
- На, пиши. Только не отправляй, у меня денег нет. allanecdots.ru

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GergtРазные 2014-12-04

Я уже 17 лет женат и все это время я люблю одну женщину и наслаждаюсь каждой минутой, когда мы вместе. Главное, чтобы жена не узнала.

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GergtРазные 2014-12-04

Я вам про знакомую свою расскажу.
Девочке 16, она всегда, когда моет окна, кладет ключи в карман халата. Я ее спросила - зачем. Она говорит: "Tак а если я из окна выпаду, как я домой попаду?" allanecdots.ru
А живет она на 8 этаже.
И после этого кто-то меня называет оптимистом?

А живет она на 8 этаже.
И после этого кто-то меня называет оптимистом?" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/36505/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

Oн ласково обнял ее и задал вопрос:
- Я твой первый парень? allanecdots.ru
Она долго вспоминала, потом сказала:
- О точно, то-то я смотрю, что я тебя раньше, где то видела.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

В кафе звонок от Герасима:
- Будите брать еду? allanecdots.ru
- Му-му...
- Выпивку заказать хотите?
- Му-му...
- Или вам бабу...
- Да-да!!!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

Ночь. Темнота. Свечи. Дама и Мужчина. Закончили ужин. Она ему нежно шепчет:
- Ну, все, сейчас ты мой... allanecdots.ru
- Ещё чего! Сама мой!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

Сыктывкарский завод чугунного литья приступил к выпуску детских игрушек.
- С этой игрушкой вы всегда найдёте ребёнка там, где его оставили. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

Разговаривают два приятеля:
- Моя девушка - как мобильник. allanecdots.ru
- В каком смысле?
- Когда у меня нет денег, она временно недоступна.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

Николай Валуев играет в бильярд с мужиками. Валуев держит кий и долго целится. Ему говорят:
- Коль, ты куда целишься, там же нет лузы!? allanecdots.ru
- Сейчас будет!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-04

- О, мудрый Каа, я пришёл к тебе за советом...
- Так, блин, мальчик, не приставай к удаву! Хочешь фотографироваться - плати! Нет денег - иди нафиг! allanecdots.ru

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