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2022-01-18Готовимся к лету. Перед приёмом пищи отжимаемся от пола 30 раз. Эффект потрясающий! Руки трясутся, до рта много не донесёшь.
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Если свет на кухне включать-выключать каждые 5 секунд, то тараканы умрут от челночного бега туда-обратно.
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Никак не мог выбрать, какой фильм посмотреть, с Николь Кидман или с Дженнифер Энистон. Выбрал компромиссный вариант, посмотрел фильм с Николь Энистон.
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Стоит мне настроиться на рабочую волну, как меня сразу начинает укачивать.
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В лифте, на последнем этаже:
- Вниз? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, блин, в бок поедем.
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Одна марионетка говорит другой:
- Что-то у меня в последнее время нервы стали ни к черту. allanecdots.ru
- А что случилось?
- Да на работе совсем задергали.
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Мудрость - это когда у тебя уже не осталось классных дебильных идей.
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Из крысиного хвоста получается отменное рвотное: надо высушить его, истолочь в ступке, развести тремя частями воды и дать больному выпить, а потом сказать, что это было.
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Для мужчин 40 лет - замечательный возраст. Один становится дедом, у другого рождается ребёнок, а кому-то мама до сих пор ищет жену...
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- Беру свои слова обратно!
- Ты решила извиниться? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, я новые придумала!
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