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GergtРазные 2014-12-17

Собирает утром жена мужа на работу: отглаженные брючки, рубашка, носочки, шнурочки, завтрак на столе. Муж, уходя на работу, говорит жене:
- Дай мне немного денег. allanecdots.ru
- Зачем тебе деньги?
- Ну, буду идти с работы, встречу кого-нибудь, третьим буду…
- Ты лучше с работы иди прямо домой, нигде не задерживайся - первым будешь!

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GergtРазные 2014-12-17

Внук спрашивает:
- Деда, а как ты на войне партизанил? allanecdots.ru
- Ну, сижу я, значит, в кустах...
- Фашистский поезд ждёшь?
- Ну... Одно другому не мешает.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

- Что Васе подарим?
- Давай пепельницу хрустальную! allanecdots.ru
- Он не курит!
- Давай штаны крокодиловые, куртку из обезьяны, попугаевое жабо и...
- И ты не кури!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

Встречаются настоятель мужского монастыря и настоятельница женского:
- Вчера ваши монахи забрались к нашим монахиням! allanecdots.ru
- И чего они им сделали, сестра?
- Ничего...
- Ну, тогда это не наши...

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

Воскресенье было последним днем перед женитьбой Джо, и он решил провести его вместе с отцом в ресторане. Подняв бокал и предложив выпить за здоровье отца, Джо спросил: - Что ты мне пожелаешь, отец, накануне свадьбы - этого ответственного шага в моей жизни?
- Две вещи, сынок. Первое - внуши жене с самого начала, что один вечер в неделю ты должен проводить со своими друзьями. allanecdots.ru
- Резонно, а второе?
- Второе - не трать его на друзей!..

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

- Привет, давно не виделись. Ну, как устроился?
- Да всё просто супер! Работаю. Подо мной 5000 человек... allanecdots.ru
- Ты что, стал директором?
- Нет, сторожем на кладбище.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

- Спасибо вам на добром слове!
- Не за что! Это я не подумавши! allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

Объявление в газете:
Услуги Фирмы "Старший брат". Недорого. Приду и навешаю! Педагогам тоже. allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

- Папа, папа! Я беременна!
- Радость-то какая! Зиночка! Дочка заговорила! allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

Судья:
- Гражданин Сидоров, во время следствия вы признали свою вину, а затем от этого признания отказались. Почему вы это сделали? allanecdots.ru
- Гражданин судья, мой адвокат убедил меня в том, что я не виновен!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-17

- Какая у вас странная картина. Называется - "Кот в сапогах". Сапоги вижу, а где же кот?
- Как где!?В сапогах! allanecdots.ru

- Как где!?В сапогах! " data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/37677/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3">

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