Просто смешные анекдоты

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юрийРазные 2014-12-19

Звонок в дежурную часть:
- Здравствуйте, вы вчера присылали наряд по адресу Ленина 3 кв. 47? allanecdots.ru
- Да, имели место нарушения общественного спокойствия, громкая музыка...
- Слушайте, передайте им, пожалуйста, пусть еще раз заедут, забыли они тут фуражку, пистолет, да и фотки посмотрят, прикольные получились!

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юрийРазные 2014-12-19

Женщина приходит в автосалон и обращается к продавцу:
- Здравствуйте, я бы хотела приобрести «Пежо». allanecdots.ru
- Модель?
- Нет, бухгалтер. Но за комплимент спасибо!

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юрийРазные 2014-12-19

- Хочу познакомиться со скромной, молчаливой девушкой, которой не нужны дорогие подарки, при этом она должна быть красивой и стильно одеваться. Не знаешь где такую можно найти?
- В магазине модной женской одежды. allanecdots.ru
- Среди покупательниц или продавщиц?
- Среди манекенов.

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юрийРазные 2014-12-19

На женских курсах по обольщению мужчин:
- Теперь поговорим об использовании кружевного белья, одном из главных оружий женщины.. allanecdots.ru
- А если денег на кружевное белье нет??!
- Тогда берем простые труселя, складываем в пятеро, берем ножницы и вспоминаем, как в детстве вырезали снежинки..

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юрийРазные 2014-12-19

- Хочешь сказку про тигра, слона и кролика?
- А про свинку можно? allanecdots.ru
- Про свинку? Можно и про свинку... Жили - были Тигр, Слон и Кролик...
- А свинка?
- А потом они заболели свинкой!

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

- Дорогая! Приглашаю тебя на ужин при свечах, плавно переходящий в завтрак!
- Мы что, всю ночь жрать будем? allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

- А я летом поеду к бабушке. Она у меня под Москвой живёт.
- Под Москвой? Это что, в метро что ли? allanecdots.ru

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

Острый момент в индийском кино:- Я тебя убью, но сначала я и мои сорок слонов станцуем.

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

- Ржевский, а почему все время отдыхаете именно в Сочи?
- Ну, как же! У меня здесь столько друзей! Таня Иванова, Лена Петрова, Галочка Сидорова. allanecdots.ru
- Хорошо вам, поручик!
- Плохо, врагов тоже хватает. Вася Иванов, Петя Петров, Гриша Сидоров...

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

Пассажиры поезда Москва-Одесса поняли, что что-то пошло не так, когда по вагону с напряжённым лицом прошёл Стивен Сигал

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Vaserman_Druz`Разные 2014-12-19

- Моя девушка раньше все время думала, что я ей изменяю. Пошла к бабке... Приворожила меня... И теперь думает, что я ей не изменяю.

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