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Vaserman_Druz`
2014-12-29Дорогие российские женщины! Хватит уже просить у Деда Мороза мужиков!
Уже пол-Таджикистана и других бывших союзных республик к нам переехало! allanecdots.ru
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Сначала говорят: «Как Новый год встретишь – так его и проведешь», а потом: «Ой, как бы перестать жрать по ночам?»
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Много собак - свора.
Много птиц - стая. allanecdots.ru
Много баранов - стадо.
Много противоречий - женщина.
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Выложил резюме. Первый звонок был с моей работы, с которой увольняюсь, с предложением устроиться к ним на работу...
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Если ночью вдруг припрётся толстый дядька и начнёт засовывать тебя в мешок... не психуй. Я на Новый год попросил у Деда Мороза – тебя!
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Когда муж ушел на рыбалку без удочки, тупая жена начала подозревать, что у него есть вторая удочка.
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Чем больше у тебя долг и меньше зарплата, тем трогательнее банк, в котором ты брал кредит, поздравляет тебя с Новым годом.
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Кризис по-российски: купить шесть телевизоров, а потом понять, что абонентскую плату за кабельное ТВ платить теперь нечем.
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- А2?
- Ранил. allanecdots.ru
- А4?
- Убил.
- Б***ь! Молодой человек, вам какой формат печатать?
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Такое чувство, что редакторы телеканалов составляют программу так: "Это хороший фильм. Ставим его на час ночи".
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Есть 3 вещи, которые человек не сможет сделать никогда в своей жизни: посчитать волосы на голове, помыть глаза с мылом, дышать с высунутым языком.
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Ну все все, можешь, засовывай язык назад)))
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