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юрий
2015-02-06- Ума не приложу, как объяснить мужу, где я провела эту ночь…
- А ты не объясняй, пусть сам голову ломает! allanecdots.ru
- Чью?!
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Разговаривают две блондинки:
- Решила 1 апреля пошутить над мужем. Купила тест на беременность, нарисовала вторую полосочку, применила согласно инструкции и сижу, смотрю на тест с тремя полосками... allanecdots.ru
- Тройня будет, не иначе...
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Начальник сначала хвалился всем, что у его секретарши ноги от ушей, а потом удивлялся, чем она слушает его распоряжения.
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Блондинка:
- Ты что, обиделся? allanecdots.ru
- Я никогда не обижаюсь на дураков, детей и
женщин.
- Так я по-твоему ещё и дура?!
- Даже и не знаю, что тебе теперь ответить...
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Загадочная русская душа: настоящий русский человек не только пошлет, но еще и провожать пойдет
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- Дайте мне сока, пожалуйста...
- Какого сока?
- Любого.
- "Я" годится?
- Ну давайте "Ягодицу"... Блин, каких только названий не придумают!)
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Объявление: "Дети - цветы жизни! Продаю семена. Тел. 3222223, спросить Игорька".
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Зима. Мороз -20. Еду с женой в автобусе. Напротив - моя студентка (я преподаватель в вузе) с какой-то подружкой. Не здоровается. Сидит, болтает. Минут через пять глядит на меня и говорит: "Ой! Андрей Петрович! А я вас одетым не узнала!"
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Некрасивая,но сильная девушка Люся парня из армии не ждала,а поджидала.
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Утром, после вечерней ссоры, жена молча подаёт мужу лист бумаги с шестизначной суммой.
- Что это? allanecdots.ru
- Ты ночью назвал меня проституткой - хотелось бы получить за все эти годы деньги...)
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-Это будет трудная ночь..не все доживут до рассвета..
-Люся!Закрой холодильник!Эти котлеты на завтра! ) allanecdots.ru
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