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Просто смешные анекдоты
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Gergt
2015-02-22- У тебя последнее желание, - говорит золотая рыбка мужику.
- Надо что-то доброе сделать, - рыбак оглядывается по сторонам и видит: юноша с тростью медленно идёт вдоль берега. - Вот, хочу, рыбка, чтобы он выбросил трость и побежал. allanecdots.ru
Парень помчался к оживлённой трассе, крича:
- Кто это сделал, я не хромой, я слепой!
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- Люблю резко обрывать разговор, оставляя собеседника озадаченным.
- В смысле? allanecdots.ru
- Не говори со мной…
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Решил Илья Муромец как-то раз сразиться с поганым чудищем.
Пришел он к его логову и постучался в дверь. Дверь открыла девица неземной красоты: allanecdots.ru
- Тебе кого?
- Мне это, чудище...
- Ну... я чудище!
- Как ты?!
- Ну... накрасилась я!
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С женского форума: Я очень боюсь выходить замуж... Мне кажется, будто мой муж проснется однажды ночью, поймет что я дура и убьет меня.
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К мужу пришли из военкомата. Жена:
- Прячься в шкаф! allanecdots.ru
- А я там не задохнусь?
- Не задохнешься! Сколько мужиков там прятала, все живы остались.
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- Налей мне компот!
- Тебе какой? allanecdots.ru
- Ты не видишь? Мне плохо, дай огурцовый!
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Кит плавает вокруг самки и с упреком говорит:
- Сколько стран, сотни экологических организаций, выдающиеся политические лидеры, миллионы людей - все они борются за то, чтобы наш вид выжил, а ты мне говоришь - голова болит... allanecdots.ru
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- Отличный вечер, может, зайдем ко мне выпить кофе?
- Ну, я даже не знаю, кофе на ночь как-то... allanecdots.ru
- Ну, пожалуйста! У меня не было кофе уже полгода!
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- Скажи мне, кто ты, и я тебе скажу, кто твой друг.
- Я миллионер. allanecdots.ru
- Я твой друг!
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Во всём мире работают так, чтобы заслужить премию. И только у нас работают так, чтоб её не лишили.
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А вот интересно, где та грань допустимой жестокости и разврата между фильмами 0+ и 4+?
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