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2015-04-17- Мадам! Вы никогда не были замужем?
- НЕТ!.. allanecdots.ru
- Ой! А я, таки, думаю, откуда такое счастливое, не тронутое бытом лицо!
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– Знаешь, кто я?
– Кто? allanecdots.ru
– Пожиратель тьмы!
– Тебе лишь бы пожрать.
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Пост ГАИ. Стоит одинокий гаишник, смотрит - в его сторону бабка с коровой идет. Бабка подходит и начинает забивать колышек в двух шагах от гаишника. Тот обалдевая:
- Мать, ты что, с ума сошла? Здесь не пастбище! allanecdots.ru
- Ой, сынок, не знаю, в прошлом годе ты тут такой худой стоял...
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- Девочки, я беременна!
- Имя уже придумала? allanecdots.ru
- Имя?… мне бы с отчеством определиться!
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Если когда-то в жизни вам придется выбирать между финансовой независимостью и ceкcуальной привлекательностью, выбирайте финансовую независимость... С годами она станет вашей ceкcуальной привлекательностью.
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Вовочка вбегает в класс после звонка и, не здороваясь, садится на своё место.
Учительница: allanecdots.ru
- Ну-ка выйди и зайди заново.
Вовочка:
- Ну, ничего себе. Прям Windows какой-то!
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- Милая, иди сюда. Потрогай его, не бойся. Чувствуешь, какой он твердый?
- Да... allanecdots.ru
- Вот сколько раз тебе говорить, не оставляй хлеб открытым!!!
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Бывает, набрал ванну с пеной, пустил в неё свою любимую пластмассовую уточку, разделся догола и тут вдруг вспомнил, что пришёл сюда смеситель чинить.
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Коварный художник Арнольд под предлогом секса заманивал девушек в мастерскую и рисовал.
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Жена: - Кого из животных я тебе напоминаю?
Муж: - О! Принеси-ка молока. allanecdots.ru
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