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2014-10-30Катаясь на американских горках с учительницей русского языка, дети узнали много исключений из правил.
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Заяц в лесу, зимой. Холодно ему, сложно зайцу выжить в такие морозы. Голодный, не ел всю зиму. Вдруг видит - снеговик, а между ног у него морковка. Заяц остановился и смотрит.
Снеговик ему: - Ну что, косой, брезгуешь? allanecdots.ru
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В психбольнице больные смотрят утром по телику новости. Один вдруг хлопает себя по коленке: - Хорошо, что я в психушке! За его спиной санитары друг другу: - Да... Этот, кажись, выздоровел.
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Лучшей мотивацией учиться, была фраза отца: «Александр - это защитник по-гречески, так что выбирай: ты либо защищаешь диплом, либо защищаешь родину»
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- Представляешь, у моей жены есть сестра-двойняшка!..
- И что, часто ли ты их путаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Ну, как тебе сказать... Стараюсь!
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Когда начинала встречаться со своим парнем, у него была тогда еще девушка... Прошло 2 года, мы женаты. Вопрос: какого черта я до сих пор в телефоне подписана как "Леха шиномонтаж"?
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- Чего делаешь?
- Сижу сыр косичкой ем, а ты че делаешь? allanecdots.ru
- Сижу чай ртом пью.
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Видеть жениха в свадебном платье невесты до свадьбы - плохая примета.
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- Запомни, сынок, чтобы быть хорошим человеком, ты должен быть всегда пунктуальным и осторожным!
- А что значит "пунктуальным", папа? allanecdots.ru
- Это чтобы ты всегда выполнял то, что обещал!
- А "осторожным"?
- Чтобы никогда ничего не обещал!!!
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- Это чтобы ты всегда выполнял то, что обещал! - А "осторожным"? - Чтобы никогда ничего не обещал!!!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/35193/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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Вчера в передаче "спокойной ночи малыши" кукловод случайно ударился головой об стол. Таких пожеланий на ночь от Степашки дети еще не слышали...
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