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Долбожитель
2021-01-21Умирающая бабушка зовет внучку и говорит:
- Внученька я завещаю тебе ферму, там три дома, десять машин, тысяча кур, ипподром, две тысячи свиней, два магазина. Это все тебе! allanecdots.ru
- Бабуля а где эта ферма?
- ВКонтакте, внученька.
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Главное разочарование детства - шоколадный заяц: красивый, но пустой внутри.
Главное разочарование взрослой жизни - люди, как шоколадные зайцы. allanecdots.ru
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Мужик увидел надпись на дверях женского монастыря: "Секс с молодыми монашками 300 у.е". Постучал, открыла прелестная монашка, приняла деньги и говорит:
- Я пока приготовлюсь, а вы пройдите, пожалуйста, по коридору в последнюю дверь направо. Мужик быстро прошмыгнул к указанной двери, открыл, снова попал на улицу, дверь за ним закрылась. allanecdots.ru
Обернулся и видит на двери табличку:
- "Сегодня вас поимела сестра Мария".
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- Я пока приготовлюсь, а вы пройдите, пожалуйста, по коридору в последнюю дверь направо. Мужик быстро прошмыгнул к указанной двери, открыл, снова попал на улицу, дверь за ним закрылась. Обернулся и видит на двери табличку: - "Сегодня вас поимела сестра Мария"." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/96077/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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- Привет, Серега, что-то тебя давно не видать...
- А я сейчас в Эмиратах живу, устроился у местного шейха завгаром. allanecdots.ru
- Представляю, какой у шейха автопарк...
- При чем тут автопарк? Я гаремом заведую.
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- Он сказал, что на балу я была самая лучшая зая! Так и сказал: "Зая бала"!
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- А вы помните свою самую первую маску?
- Что за дурацкий вопрос? Я в ней хожу. allanecdots.ru
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- Изя, слушай сюда: "Женщина всегда сюрприз, но не всегда подарок"
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Нужны не только предпраздничные дни, оканчивающие рабочий день на час раньше, но и послепраздничные, начинающие рабочий день на два часа позже.
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Иногда нужно сделать шаг назад, чтобы сделать два вперёд. Например, на месяц сдать квартиру наркоманам, чтобы съехали буйные соседи.
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Когда парень говорит тебе, что ты сексуальная, он смотрит на твоё тело.
Когда парень говорит, что ты милая, он смотрит на твоё лицо. allanecdots.ru
Когда парень говорит, что ты прекрасна, он смотрит тебе в душу.
Но так или иначе, все эти три парня просто хотят тебя тр@хнуть!
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Когда боксеру становится скучно, он берет микрокредит, просрочивает его и ждет коллекторов...
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