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Дате | Рейтингу
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2011-06-01Малыш на день рождения очень просил собаку купить. Родители решили порадовать малыша и купили здоровенного сенбернара.
Малыш посмотрел на псину и говорит: allanecdots.ru
- Я не понял, кого кому подарили?
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В кабинете у уролога:
- Доктор, у меня очень сильная боль в паху! Я просто не могу! allanecdots.ru
- Посмотрим... Ого! Да у вас тут х%й мудрости лезет!
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Лектор:
- У женщин во влагалище живут лакто бактерии, бифидо бактерии... allanecdots.ru
Реплика с задних рядов:
- Прям не пизда, а чудо-йогурт какой-то!
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На правах рекламы.
На курортах Северного Кавказа у вас никогда не сгорит спина. allanecdots.ru
Потому что загорать вы будете в бронежилете.
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- Ты здорово умеешь манипулировать мужчинами! Расскажи, как тебе это удается?
- Тут главное - правильно взяться за манипулятор. allanecdots.ru
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- Папа, папа, в школе меня все дразнят нищим!
- Сынок, брось переживать из-за всех этих глупостей! Поди лучше налови allanecdots.ru
крыс к ужину.
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Алло! Не подскажете, а как узнать какой у меня браузер? - Думаю, что
explorer раз спрашиваете! allanecdots.ru
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В автобусе молодой паренек обращается к девушке:
- Девушка, Вы случайно не программистка? allanecdots.ru
- Да. А как Вы догадались?
- Да, у Вас такое глупое выражение лица!
- Дурак!
- Да, я тоже программист.
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Однажды чувак возвращается домой с работы, и попугай его к себе поближе подзывает.
Попугай хозяину: allanecdots.ru
- Знаешь что, я не знаю, надо ли об этом распространяться, но это касается твоей жены.
- И что?
- Она сегодня что-то покупала по интернету с доставкой курьером, и когда курьер пришел, она вышла к нему в трусиках и майке.
- Что???
- А потом поцеловала курьера в губы.
- ЧТО???
- А потом курьер зашел в квартиру, обнял ее и стащил с нее эту самую маечку.
- Бл@дь!!! Ну ни хрена ж себе!!! И дальше что???
- А дальше у меня член встал, я упал с жердочки и больше ничего не видел...
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Московская милиция арестовала группу зоофилов.
Пpи задеpжании использовались специально обученные собаки. allanecdots.ru
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Ночь. В вагонах тускло горят дежурные лампочки. Пассажиры засыпают. Вдруг гаснет свет и кто-то истерически кричит: - Граждане! Берегите чемоданы! Воруют!! Я уже один украл!!!
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