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2011-10-03Золушкa собирaется нa бaл. Фея предлaгaет ей свои услуги:
- Дaвaй я тебе бaльное плaтье дaм, девочкa моя? allanecdots.ru
- Не нaдо крестнaя, у меня есть прекрaснaя кожaнaя курточкa!
- Тогдa возьми хрустaльные туфельки.
- Дa не нaдо, у меня хорошие aдики есть! Лучше подaри-кa ты мне спирaльку, тaм принц все-тaки будет.
Ну делaть нечего, подaрилa.
Нaутро возврaщaется Золушкa вся измученнaя, ноги нa рaскорячку и говорит:
- Что же это Вы меня крестнaя не предупредили, что Вaшa спирaлькa в двенaдцaть чaсов в тыкву преврaтится?!
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Троллейбус битком. Рядом с компостером стоит девушкa, a молодой человек через нее пытaется просунуть и пробить свой тaлончик в компостере, a у него что-то никaк не выходит.
Девушкa возмущенно: allanecdots.ru
- Вы уже полчaсa нa мне лежите и никaк попaсть не можете...
Пaрень:
- Ну, я же не виновaт, что конец все зaворaчивaется и зaворaчивaется
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Женили бабка с дедом своего сына на покладистой деревенской простой девушке. Просыпается дед как то утром и видит, что у него одной штанины нету.
- Дочка, а где моя штанина? allanecdots.ru
- Да я тут подушку шила, так у меня материала не хватило ну вот я и отрезала.
Уснул дед, а когда проснулся, понял, что нет бороды.
- Дочка, а борода моя где?
- У меня в подушке пуха не хватило, я и отрезала.
Возвращается бабка с рынка и видит, что дед на дереве сидит.
- Дед, ты что на старости лет с ума сошел?
- Тихо, ты! Невестка сказала, что сейчас будет жарить яишницу.
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На море:
- Мамаааааа! Акула! allanecdots.ru
- Какая акула?! Это твой папа на спине плывёт!
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- Дорогая, сегодня такой праздник, поэтому можно меня с работы чуть-чуть попозже принесут?
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Если ночью выйти из сельской дискотеки и взглянуть на звездное небо, из носа перестает течь кровь.
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Разговор двух девушек:
-Ну что, как вчера прошла вечеринка? allanecdots.ru
-Да ты знаеш....выпила пол-бутылки водки, трусы как рукой сняло..
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- Вы должны принимать эти лекарства до конца жизни.
- Но доктор, здесь же написано: "Принимать в течение двух месяцев"! allanecdots.ru
- А я так и сказал.
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А спонсор нашей программы - женское белье "Ты дура". "Ты дура" - твоя маленькая тайна!..
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Эстонец поймал золотую рыбку.
Говорит ему рыбка: "Отпусти меня, а я исполню три твоих желания" allanecdots.ru
Эстонец хватает ее за хвост, бьет со все силы о камень и говорит:
"Не сметь гоффориить со мной по-русски"
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