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2021-09-27Беззаботные люди живут сегодняшним днём. Озабоченные - сегодняшней ночью.
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Найдена девочка, воспитанная шампанским. Она очень игривая и даёт в голову.
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Церковная органистка разменяла 9-й десяток и никогда не была замужем. Однажды пастор пришёл за ней и она пригласила его в гостиную. Она попросила его посидеть пока приготовит чай. Глядя на её старый орган "Хаммонд", он заметил на крышке инструмента симпатичный сосуд с водой, в которой плавал презерватив. Когда она вернулась с чаем и печеньем, они разговорились. Пастор старался скрыть своё любопытство насчёт странного предмета в воде, но вскоре не утерпел и спросил, указывая на сосуд:
- Не могли бы вы мне рассказать об этом предмете? allanecdots.ru
- О, да, разве он не красив? Я шла через парк несколько месяцев назад, и нашла этот маленький пакетик на земле. Инструкция гласит: "Поместить его на орган, держать влажным и это защитит от распространения болезни." И вы знаете, у меня не было гриппа всю зиму!
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- Не могли бы вы мне рассказать об этом предмете? - О, да, разве он не красив? Я шла через парк несколько месяцев назад, и нашла этот маленький пакетик на земле. Инструкция гласит: "Поместить его на орган, держать влажным и это защитит от распространения болезни." И вы знаете, у меня не было гриппа всю зиму!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/100782/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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У Абрамовича есть огромный магнит, на который он вешает холодильники, купленные в разных странах.
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Я медленно вхожу в тебя... в тебе так тесно и жарко, что я не могу даже пошевелиться... и вот я уже раскачиваюсь в такт твоим движениям... о дааа! Я люблю тебя - утренний троллейбус!!!
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- Папа, а как я появилась на свет?
- Ну...тебя аист принёс. allanecdots.ru
- Папа на улице столько баб, а ты дурак аиста тр@хал.
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Вечер на даче: горячий шашлык, холодная водка и молодые девушки.
Утро на даче: холодный шашлык, тёплая водка и старые шлюхи. allanecdots.ru
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Идёт застолье. Встаёт грузин и произносит тост:
- Я предлагаю выпить за женщин, которые без нас, мужчин, не могут жить, как рыба не может жить без воды. allanecdots.ru
Сидящая рядом женщина говорит:
- Ну о чём вы говорите, молодой человек?! Я вот уже двадцать лет живу без мужа и прекрасно себя чувствую, и совсем не считаю себя несчастной.
- Мадам, я предлагаю выпить за свежую рыбу!
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После того, как посидишь на сайте знакомств Love4ert.ru, название зубной щётки "Орал-Би" начинает казаться двусмысленным.
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Вовочка - матери:
- Мама, я братика хочу. allanecdots.ru
- Хорошо, будет тебе братик.
Вовочка звонит отцу:
- Алло, пап, я договорился. Будет у тебя сегодня вечером секс. С тебя барабан и карандаши.
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