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Gergt
2014-10-31Идут пограничники по следу нарушителя. Вдруг человеческие следы закончились и пошли коровьи. Все ясно, след запутать хочет. Бегут по коровьим. Вылетают на поляну, смотрят, пасется стадо коров и сидит пастух. Подбегают к нему: - Дед, ты можешь сказать, какая корова чужая?
- Да запросто. Вон та, вторая справа. allanecdots.ru
- А как ты ее отличил от других?
- Да очень просто. Подходит она ко мне и спрашивает: - Дед, как пройти на железнодорожную станцию?
- Тут я и смекнул, наши то коровы знают, где железнодорожная станция.
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Перед сном Клеопатра спрашивает у служанки: - Кто сегодня готов отдать жизнь за ночь со мной?
- Кощей Бессмертный! allanecdots.ru
- Достали меня уже эти хитрожопые русские.
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Несправедливость- это когда твоя жена беременеет, все родственники и друзья гладят ее поживоту и говорят: "Поздравляем!" И никто не гладит тебя по яйцам и не говорит: "Молодец".
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- Вы арестованы! Вы имеете право хранить молчание. Все, что Вы скажете, может быть использовано против Вас!
- Голая баба! allanecdots.ru
- Что, голая баба?
- Используйте против меня голую бабу!
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Слабительное лучше употреблять с успокоительным - вы будете сохранять спокойствие, даже если не добежите!
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Полицейский во время ночного патрулирования: - Девушка, ваши документы.
- Пожалуйста. allanecdots.ru
- Так, Ольга Сергеевна, кем работаете?
- Night buttеrflу (ночная бабочка).
- Что?
- Night buttеrflу.
- Не понял!
- А вы что, думаете, вас одних переименовали?
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Холодильник - самый яркий пример того, что не важно, что снаружи, а важно лишь то, что внутри.
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- Розочка, шо я тебе имею сказать: ты, конечно, сегодня произвела на пляже фурор, но стринги, таки, надо одевать узкой полоской назад.
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- Вы не победили. Но как вам сама гонка?
- Самогонка понравилась. allanecdots.ru
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К стоматологу, дрожа от страха, заходит мужик. Врач видит, что зуб придется удалять, и наливает пациенту спирта в стакан.
– Вот, выпейте для храбрости. allanecdots.ru
Мужик выпивает и перестает трястись.
Стоматолог, с улыбкой: – Ну что, набрались храбрости?
– Да! И пусть теперь кто-нибудь попробует тронуть мой зуб!
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Я хочу за тебя замуж...но я понимаю...что одного моего желания мало...поэтому я взяла пистолет...
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