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Gergt
2015-01-20- Розочка, не надо таки мине предлагать сто грамм для храбрости, дайте четыреста и я пойду на подвиги!
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Звонок на фирму, которая занимается ремонтом компьютеров:
- Мой принтер начал плохо печатать! allanecdots.ru
- Вероятно, его надо просто почистить. Это стоит 50 долларов. Но для вас будет лучше, если вы прочтете инструкцию и выполните эту работу сами. Клиент, удивленный такой откровенностью, спрашивает:
- А ваш босс знает, что вы таким образом препятствуете бизнесу?
- На самом деле, это его идея. Мы получаем куда больше прибыли, когда позволяем нашим клиентам сначала самим попытаться что-то отремонтировать.
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Телефонный звонок в службу компьютерной техподдержки:
- Я два антивируса установила... allanecdots.ru
- Вы бы еще Сталина с Гитлером в одной комнате заперли!..
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- Объясните, как вы сбили пешехода?
- Да не сбивал я его! Остановился, чтобы уступить ему дорогу, а он потерял сознание от удивления. allanecdots.ru
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Если девушка, примеряя вещь из своего гардероба, понимает, что вещь стала ей мала, то она, конечно, расстроится. Но это правило не относится к лифчикам.
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Весь день доказывала мужу, что ему не изменяла,- а он уперся рогами и не верит...
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Спорят две блондинки.
- Это он! allanecdots.ru
- Не он!
- Он!
- Не он!
- Пойдем спросим...
Подходят.
- Скажите, это вы?
- Да, это я.
Одна - другой:
- Я же говорила!
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- Мужики, такси вызывали?
- Да. allanecdots.ru
- Понимаете, у меня машина сломалась. Давайте, я вас пешком домой провожу.
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Перед вратами рая стоят водитель автобуса и священник.
К ним выходит Святой Петр: allanecdots.ru
- Ты, водитель, проходи, а ты, батюшка, подожди немного.
Священник возмущается:
- Как так? Я всю жизнь церкви посвятил!
- Ну и что? У тебя в церкви все спали, а у него в автобусе - все молились!
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Однажды бабушка с внуком перепутали таблетки. Внук заснул на фейс- контроле... Бабушка связала восьмиметровый носок...
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Идет лесник по лесу видит с дерева яйца свисают, он взял и сжал их, и спрашивает
- Как зовут? allanecdots.ru
В ответ тишина. Сжал сильнее:
- Как зовут?
Тишина. Сжал, что аж потекло:
- Как зовут?
- Иван
- А чего молчал?
- Потому, что немой был
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