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Gergt
2015-06-16С прекрасного праздничного вечера у друзей ехал в метро домой. Только они, гады, обломали! Разбудили нашатырем и спросили, зачем я держусь за вешалку для белья на балконе уже 40 минут
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Вчера кто-то обворовал магазин интим-товаров. Судя по украденному, преступница была одна. Много лет одна...
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Дождь. Грязь. Генерал едет в армию.
По дороге видит застрявший грузовик своей части. allanecdots.ru
Ну ладно так и быть - надо помочь. Вылезли с шофером
стали толкать. Извозились в грязи, но грузовик вытолкнули.
Генерал, вытирая пот и пожимая руку шоферу грузовика, говорит:
- Тяжелый однако.
- Да, отвечает тот. - У меня там рота дембелей домой едет.
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Дело происходит на Чукотке. Каждый вечер на берег моря выходит
чукча и кричит в сторону Америки: allanecdots.ru
- Нищие!
- Почему нищие, если не хуже нашего живут? - спрашивают его.
- Аляску купили, а на Чукотку денег не хватило.
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Пилот королевских ВВС вел самолет над Атлантикой, как вдруг у
него вспыхнул правый мотор. Самым разумным, подумал он, было б allanecdots.ru
сейчас приземлиться, но до суши было 300 миль, да и высота 100
футов. Пилот немедленно связался с контрольным пунктом.
- Самолет в огне, нахожусь в 300 милях в Атлантике, высота 100
футов. Что делать, жду указаний!
Дежурный диспетчер:
- Повторяйте за мной: "Господи, прости меня, грешного..."
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Стоит чукча на остановке и смотрит на проезжающий транспорт. К
нему подходит второй чукча и спрашивает: allanecdots.ru
- Какой, однако, транспорт самый быстрый?
- Троллейбуса. Видишь, как быстро привязанный бегает, а если
отвязать?
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Полковник. (Начальнику столовой):
- Ну когда же в нашей столовой будут нормальные человеческие allanecdots.ru
яйца.
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Чукча плывет по речке на лодке, смотрит по сторонам и поет:
"Какой красивый лес на берегу, в этом лесу много брусники зреет скоро будем мало-мало собирать..." Смотрит - геолог сидит на берегу и справляет нужду. Чукча: allanecdots.ru
- Тьфу, шайтан! Какую, однако, песню испортил!
| - Тьфу, шайтан! Какую, однако, песню испортил!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/46544/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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Двое чукчей сняли девицу, она им говорит:
- Чтобы я не родила, вы должны надеть презервативы! allanecdots.ru
Они так и сделали. Прошла ночь, и они разъехались. Через год
встречаются. Один другому говорит:
- Ну что, у меня уже почернел, может снимем?
- Давай снимем, пускай рожает!
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У одного чукчи сломался будильник. Приходит он в часовую
мастерскую, где приемщик тоже чукча. Открыл он будильник и allanecdots.ru
видит, что в механизме застрял дохлый таракан.
- Не будет работать, - уверенно констатирует он.
- Почему? - удивляется владелец часов.
- Механик сдох! - разводит руками приемщик
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Элен:
- Значит, тебе нравится его внимание? Так почему же ты тогда не allanecdots.ru
выйдешь за него замуж?
Бетти:
- Потому, что мне нравится его внимание!
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