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Просто смешные анекдоты
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Gergt
2015-04-30Кондуктор в автобусе:
- Мужчина! Рога надо обматывать тряпкой или чем-то другим. Вы же в общественном транспорте, а не в лесу... Да что Вы голову трогаете, они у Вас из рюкзака торчат! allanecdots.ru
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– Почему вы опоздали?
– Меня засосало в матрас и затопило одеялом. allanecdots.ru
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- Сосед, у меня большое горе! От меня сбежала кошка!
- Странно, когда от вас ушла жена, по-моему, вы так сильно не огорчались! allanecdots.ru
- Но ведь у моей жены не было трех медалей с международной выставки!
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- Через 40 лет Россия станет богатой страной!
- Жаль, что нас уже не будет. allanecdots.ru
- Не "жаль", а "потому что"...
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Наш "КамАЗ" опять выиграл ралли "Париж-Дакар"!
Решено послать удачливую машину на чемпионат по футболу и Евровидение. allanecdots.ru
| Решено послать удачливую машину на чемпионат по футболу и Евровидение." data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/44391/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> | Комментировать |
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- Папа, а бывают непьющие писатели?
- Бывают, но очень скучные. allanecdots.ru
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Еще в глубоком детстве, когда учитель математики задавал маленькому Гамлету незамысловатую задачку - "... из пункта А в пункт В отправляется поезд со скоростью 60 км. ч...", Гамлет надолго задумывался: "То В оr nоt tо В?". Этот мучительный вопрос еще долго не покидал его, почти до самой смерти...
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После бракосочетания моя молодая жена так мне и заявила: Я, может и не «та самая», которую ты искал… Но я точно «та самая», на которую ты нарвался!
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Меня мучает один вопрос, в связи с чем эти ледяные штуки называются «сосульки», а карамельные конфетки «леденцы».
Почему не наоборот? allanecdots.ru
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- Вы женаты, Семен Маркович?
- Разведен. allanecdots.ru
- И сильно развели?
- Трусы-таки оставили...
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Мужик, вдоволь наигравшись в "танчики", в 3 часа ночи заходит в опочевальню:
- Кисюня, ты спишь? allanecdots.ru
- Нет, твою мать... боекомплект тебе в танк укладываю!
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- Кисюня, ты спишь? - Нет, твою мать... боекомплект тебе в танк укладываю!" data-url="https://allanecdots.ru/44228/" data-title="Разные" data-image="https://allanecdots.ru/smajlik.jpg" data-services="whatsapp,vkontakte,collections,facebook,odnoklassniki,moimir,gplus,twitter,lj,viber,telegram" data-limit="3"> |
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