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Gergt
2015-05-19По поведению моего кота можно сказать, что это я у него живу и, судя по его угрюмому взгляду, мне уже пора съезжать.
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- Ты на нее молиться должен был!
- Я и молился! allanecdots.ru
- Да???, "Господи, дай этой твари мозгов", а как-нибудь по другому нельзя...
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В обувном магазине говорю мужу: - Посмотри, какие симпатичные лодочки!
- Ты посмотри лучше на цену, отвечает муж. За такие деньги катер можно купить! allanecdots.ru
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- Дорогая... Мы уже 8 лет, как вместе...
- Да, милый? allanecdots.ru
- Знаешь, я думаю, пришло время внести ясность... Я долго думал над этим и сегодня, наконец, пришел день, когда я хочу задать тебе этот вопрос.
- Я тебя слушаю, радость моя!
- А как тебя зовут?
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- Дорогая, ну можно не говорить о моих друзьях всё время что-то плохое? Давай сначала об их хороших качествах...
- Хочешь, чтобы я замолчала - так и скажи! allanecdots.ru
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Дама говорит своей знакомой:
- Мне и сестре вместе 60 лет. allanecdots.ru
- Боже! И ты не боишься оставлять такую крошку одну дома?!
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- Никуда я с тобой не пойду!!!
- А чего тогда вырядилась и накрасилась??? allanecdots.ru
- А чтобы ты видел, какая красавица с тобой никуда не пошла.
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- За что тебя посадили?
- Представляешь, оказалось, Америка печатает, прямо один в один, такие же доллары, как и я! allanecdots.ru
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Офисная работа не проходит даром. Научился ремонтировать носки степлером.
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- Вы так хорошо выглядите, похудели, что у вас за диета?
- Безработица. allanecdots.ru
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- Чем можно объяснить, что вы так поздно заявили о краже? Ведь сами утверждаете, что воры в квартире все перевернули вверх дном!
- Да, но я сначала думала, что это мой муж искал чистую рубашку. allanecdots.ru
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