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2018-01-21- Дочка, ты замуж выходить собираешься?
- Кто? Я? Да вы что?! У меня хомяк жил - сдох, а муж - это такая ответственность! Не-е-е!.. allanecdots.ru
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В полицию прибегает заплаканная женщина:
- Найдите моего мужа, я жить без него не могу, а он исчез. allanecdots.ru
- Когда это произошло?
- Неделю назад.
- Но почему вы только сейчас об этом заявляете?
- У него сегодня получка.
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- Решил сесть на диету. День первый. Начал с того, что уничтожил всю жирную пищу в доме. Было вкусно.
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В номинации "Прорыв года" в пятый раз подряд победу одержал канализационный коллектор Урюпинска.
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- Как вы узнали об этой вакансии?
- Вы ж меня вчера уволили. allanecdots.ru
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Купил умный телевизор, теперь смотрим друг на друга, задумчиво.
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Семен получил на пейджер сообщение, от пейджинговой компании:
Придурок! Купи уже себе телефон! Мы из-за тебя
13 лет закрыться не можем!. allanecdots.ru
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У биткоина обнаружился большой недостаток, им невозможно даже подтереться.
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Основные две причины срыва намеченных планов:
1. То одно. allanecdots.ru
2. То другое.
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Прихожу на работу, а там елка наряжена и плакат от руководства: "С НАСТУПАЮЩИМ НОВЫМ ГОДОМ, СОБАКИ!"
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Жена высказала желание жить в Новом году кучеряво.
Ну что же, куплю ей бигуди! allanecdots.ru
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