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2022-01-12Две женщины ругаются:
– Ты ведьма! allanecdots.ru
– Это я то ведьма?!
– Да ты и на ведьму то не похожа!
– Это я то не похожа?!
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На шабаше главная ведьма спрашивает других:
– Почему вы не подхватили во время полета ведьму, которая соскользнула с метлы и упала на скалы? allanecdots.ru
– Мы не поняли, что она звала на помощь – орала, как обычно.
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- Три раза за ночь? Запросто! Вот только жене не нравится, что я так много жру...
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Доел, убрал со стола, почистил зубы, разделся, лёг в кровать.
И тут только я вспомнил, что это был завтрак. allanecdots.ru
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У возраста тоже есть плюсы. Утром встала, глянула в зеркало, да уж, теперь могу не стесняясь ругаться в общественном транспорте.
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- Поздравляем, вы приняты в тайный орден массового нытья.
- Зачем? Я не хочу!.. allanecdots.ru
- Неплохое начало!
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- Как вы провели свой Новогодний мини-отпуск?
- Творчески исследовал точки пересечения двух своих хобби. allanecdots.ru
-...?
- Читал запоем.
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Очень часто на асфальте можно встретить надписи: «Я тебя люблю!», «Ты мое счастье!», «Спасибо, что ты есть!». Потому что ровный асфальт в России - это редкость, и его нельзя не любить.
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- Мужики, прикиньте, подарил жене ВЕСЫ… а она мне на день рождения - ЛИНЕЙКУ. Не понял я че-то…
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Сейчас такое время, когда с высказываниями нужно поосторожней, чтобы не обидеть всяких там черномазых пид@расов.
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Поставил себе на будильник трек Ольги Бузовой. Теперь встаю на 5 минут раньше, чтобы этой мелодии не слушать.
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